I softly asked her "What's the matter?" and she replied through the hard sobs and big tears with "I miss daddy so much!" And broke out in a hard cry, again.
I walked over to her, sat down on her bed, and leaned over and gave her a hug. At the initial moment I couldn't say anything because I would have bawled my eyes out. You see, for me, it is so hard to go day-to-day without my best friend here with me, but God's grace is sufficient each day. What makes it extremely difficult is when you can see the pain and the hurt of your child's heart on their face.
So a couple moments pass and I wipe a tear away and say to her, "Would you like to take a couple pictures for daddy?" She agrees and says, "I really miss doing stuff as a family" -- her little chin quivering.
We took a few photos in black and white so you couldn't see our red noses or the redness around our eyes.
|This is one of the photos she wanted to send daddy.|
Before leaving her room, she said one more thing to me: "I just feel like this time is going by really slow and I don't like it. I want the time to go by faster so he can come home faster."
I completely understand how she feels. I feel like if September would just get over with, then the rest of the year would speed by. I mean, there are no holidays or anything "big" to look forward to in September. There's plenty of things in October, November, December, and then we have a month of "preparation" after that. September, two more weeks to go and you'll be history. At this point in our life, thank goodness!!
I gave her a kiss on her forehead and assured her "You know what? Daddy misses us, too. As much as you're thinking about him, he's thinking about you." She smiled. That smile made it feel like all was well, again.
About 20 minutes later she came out to the family room and says to me, "Mom. When you talk to me when I'm feeling sad, it always makes things better." I felt like God gave me a big hug at that moment to remind me that I'm doing things right. When you're use to being a two-parent family, and because of deployments it takes you to being both mom and dad, it's difficult to feel like you are doing a good job.
So, LORD, thank You for being here with us. We could not get through this without You. *smiling through the tears*