I am about to be completely open and honest with you.
I had been feeling stuck lately. Spiritually stuck. Almost like I had quit caring. Quit wanting to try. Feeling like it did not matter. Stuck. Feeling like what I do does not matter. Like to the point of who cares? When I would pray, I felt completely removed from God's presence. Like I was crying out and God wasn't listening because He wasn't anywhere near.
I don't know if those who have been around me recently could tell how I was doing. How weak I was becoming. How drained I had gotten. How less of a Christian woman I felt that I was.
All the prayers and questions I had for God felt like they were going unanswered. Not prayers that I had prayed about others, but prayers that I had prayed concerning my spiritual well-being. No matter how hard I'd try to read my Bible and pray, I felt like there was a barrier. It all changed by simply reading two scriptures and then going back and reading the whole chapter from whence the two scriptures had come.
"Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! 12 Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles and the judgements he uttered" 1 Chronicles 16:11-12.
I read and reread these two scriptures. Then I cried. The LORD has done great things in my life (and someday I'll share with you His testimony over my life). These things alone are cause to always speak of the great things that He has done. Even aside from these things: JESUS has done something great for each one of us: He died on the cross for our sins; that when we accept Him into our lives that we will have eternal life in Heaven. <--- That cause right there HAS to be enough for me to always know that what HE has done is worth it. NOTHING that I will ever do will compare to what He has already done.
Sometimes the garden isn't always going to be beautiful flowers, perfectly pruned and weeded. Sometimes the garden has to be weeded, the flowers need to be pruned, and new seeds need to be planted and watered.
Those things that I had been feeling were nothing other than the devil playing tricks on my mind. The kicker? I was believing those things. Some will probably look at this in a bit of shock. Folks, I'm not perfect. Surprised? Please don't be. ;) lol. At times I get spiritually lazy and want someone else to do the work for me, which includes hearing the Word. I have to want it badly enough for me.
Just like an old pastor we once heard say: You won't get to heaven on the shirt-tails of your parents (or friends or even your spouse). Do it for you. Do it because Jesus loves you! Do it because HE wants you. I'm going to do it for me. Because HE has already called me. Because there are three children who need me. Because I have a husband who cares about me.
Be stuck no more. "Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy are in his place" 1 Chronicles 16:27.