Plans For A Future And A Hope: #2

This week was a week full of doctor appointments -- three consecutive days of doctor appointments for me. Tuesday was for an MRI and blood work. Wednesday was for a mammogram and breast ultrasound. Thursday was a follow-up.

The MRI never happened because as I was sitting in the waiting area in the MRI department, and paying attention to the conversation that was going on with the technicians, it occurred to me that my appointment more than likely was not going to take place. *The air conditioning in the MRI department of radiology is so junky that if the temperature reaches 85*, the machine shuts down. Well, since it uses electromagnetic pulses to capture images, and the machine is gigantic, of course it is going to be hot. OH! And the temps outside for that day was just over 100*. So, instead of waiting and waiting some more (since I was going to have to do plenty of this, and have done plenty of waiting over the last year), I spoke up and asked to have my appointment rescheduled. I was not upset at having to reschedule since I had to come into the hospital anyway for the blood work -- the staff obliged and even opened up the first week of July's schedule JUST. FOR. ME. How special am I?! ;)

Wednesday's appointment was a biggy. Long story short (or you could read about the beginning of it here), I was absolutely elated to hear that the results would be made available to me before I left the radiology clinic. That alone made me happy (even though I still had a follow up appointment for Thursday that I still had to go to). The results were even more exciting, to the point of having to blink away tears because I could breath. No more waiting. No more wondering on the "what ifs". I just kept saying, with a slight sigh of relief in my voice, "Thank You, LORD! Thank You, LORD! Thank You, JESUS!" There were OVER 100 people praying for this appointment and for a clean bill of health. Let me just say this: NO lumps. NO shadows. NO cysts. God heard every prayer!!

NOTHING was found on the film.

What is so puzzling is that the doctor, William, the radiologist technician, and myself all felt the lump. To be honest, the lump is still there, barely, but it has changed size (it is smaller) and not really hard at all. Puzzling? Yes. Amazing? ABSOLUTELY! That's how the GOD of my salvation works. I had prayed and shed buckets of tears prior to my Wednesday appointment.

I was prepared to walk in the battle of breast cancer with the LORD as my Commander.

I was persuaded that HE would get the victory over the illness. That each day's amount of grace would be sufficient. Yet, I am human and in my mind I was still a bit scared. I had thoughts about "what if it was cancer and it had spread and was progressed?" I had told God many times "I am not done here. There is still work to do. Therefore, You cannot take me, yet, LORD. As must as I love You, it is not time." **My heart opened up to you readers of how I truly feel and how I pray.**

God is about a personal relationship. There is no hiding anything from Him.

So that is it. No cancer. No nothing. Life goes on as usual. Time to get our home ready for those orders to our next station --whenever that may come. *Just for the record, we do NOT have orders at the current time. We are just hoping and praying for orders.* Now I feel that I can get back on the exercise wagon that I fell off of two weeks ago.

Thank you, to each one of you who prayed for me. May God bless you greatly for seeking Him and carrying this burden with me. Praise the LORD for His mercy and LOVE!!!

Letting go ... of control ....

Sometimes in life we go through things that we're not sure why we have to go through them or even deal with them .... for extended periods of time. This is me.


It's funny how when life is going "smoothly" everything is a-okay. It's easy to pray. It's easy to worship God. Everything is just ... easier. But when trials come and linger, then we begin to question "God, I just don't get it. I don't understand." I've used that question. Oh - and this one: "How can things seemed to have been so right, but now they're so wrong?"


Well, I attended my first PWOC Bible study here in Las Vegas. Last time I attended PWOC was 2-3 years ago. Anyway, I got to talk with a dear sweet friend. I hold this woman in high-esteem as a Godly woman. Every time we talk, her speech blesses my heart. She KNOWS who the One is that cares for her; the One who has "her back"; the One who is there even when she, also, faces trials.


I took in our conversation on the drive home, as well as having a conversation with God. And He spoke these words to me, "Your frustration comes because you are not trusting Me." OUCH! Yep, there ya have it. Plain English. He said. It's definitely the TRUTH! So I talked some more with the LORD about this frustration and the lack thereof of trusting Him. I cried. If I just let go of this "wanting to be in control thing", everything will be less stressful and I won't be frustrated. If you can understand this, to me, EVEN trials are EASIER to go through when you're trusting in God to bring you through it, show you what you need to learn, etc. Seems easy enough. RIGHT?


Well, God said it. Now it's up it's up to me to do something about it. No, not the wanting to be in control, but the relinquishing the control to Him. After all, life is DEFINITELY better with Him in charge! :)