Plans For A Future And A Hope: #2

This week was a week full of doctor appointments -- three consecutive days of doctor appointments for me. Tuesday was for an MRI and blood work. Wednesday was for a mammogram and breast ultrasound. Thursday was a follow-up.

The MRI never happened because as I was sitting in the waiting area in the MRI department, and paying attention to the conversation that was going on with the technicians, it occurred to me that my appointment more than likely was not going to take place. *The air conditioning in the MRI department of radiology is so junky that if the temperature reaches 85*, the machine shuts down. Well, since it uses electromagnetic pulses to capture images, and the machine is gigantic, of course it is going to be hot. OH! And the temps outside for that day was just over 100*. So, instead of waiting and waiting some more (since I was going to have to do plenty of this, and have done plenty of waiting over the last year), I spoke up and asked to have my appointment rescheduled. I was not upset at having to reschedule since I had to come into the hospital anyway for the blood work -- the staff obliged and even opened up the first week of July's schedule JUST. FOR. ME. How special am I?! ;)

Wednesday's appointment was a biggy. Long story short (or you could read about the beginning of it here), I was absolutely elated to hear that the results would be made available to me before I left the radiology clinic. That alone made me happy (even though I still had a follow up appointment for Thursday that I still had to go to). The results were even more exciting, to the point of having to blink away tears because I could breath. No more waiting. No more wondering on the "what ifs". I just kept saying, with a slight sigh of relief in my voice, "Thank You, LORD! Thank You, LORD! Thank You, JESUS!" There were OVER 100 people praying for this appointment and for a clean bill of health. Let me just say this: NO lumps. NO shadows. NO cysts. God heard every prayer!!

NOTHING was found on the film.

What is so puzzling is that the doctor, William, the radiologist technician, and myself all felt the lump. To be honest, the lump is still there, barely, but it has changed size (it is smaller) and not really hard at all. Puzzling? Yes. Amazing? ABSOLUTELY! That's how the GOD of my salvation works. I had prayed and shed buckets of tears prior to my Wednesday appointment.

I was prepared to walk in the battle of breast cancer with the LORD as my Commander.

I was persuaded that HE would get the victory over the illness. That each day's amount of grace would be sufficient. Yet, I am human and in my mind I was still a bit scared. I had thoughts about "what if it was cancer and it had spread and was progressed?" I had told God many times "I am not done here. There is still work to do. Therefore, You cannot take me, yet, LORD. As must as I love You, it is not time." **My heart opened up to you readers of how I truly feel and how I pray.**

God is about a personal relationship. There is no hiding anything from Him.

So that is it. No cancer. No nothing. Life goes on as usual. Time to get our home ready for those orders to our next station --whenever that may come. *Just for the record, we do NOT have orders at the current time. We are just hoping and praying for orders.* Now I feel that I can get back on the exercise wagon that I fell off of two weeks ago.

Thank you, to each one of you who prayed for me. May God bless you greatly for seeking Him and carrying this burden with me. Praise the LORD for His mercy and LOVE!!!

"Plans For A Future And A Hope"

Have you ever realized how long you wait in life?

Maybe you are waiting for the birth of a new baby. You spend time waiting.

Maybe you are in the military and are waiting for military orders to a new base. You spend time waiting.

Maybe your loved one is away at an undisclosed location. You spend time waiting.

Maybe you are expecting an important phone call. You spend time waiting.

Maybe there is a vacation you are looking forward to. You spend time waiting.

We spend the majority of our days, our lives, waiting for something: a new job, babies, a home, friendships, family, love. Waiting is a must in everyone's life, whether you want to or not -- you have to do it. How do you fare while you are waiting? Do you moan and groan because you are tired of waiting? Do you get antsy and just move forward trying to take matters into your own hands? Do you try and occupy the time to make it seem like time is passing by even quicker? Do you prepare yourself for the unknown, so that you will be ready?

I have to be honest about something: There are many things we are having to wait on at the present time in our lives (my husband and mine). Orders to a new base. Possibility of a tubal reversal. Diagnosis of breast cancer or not -- most of you did not know this one, as it is a new occurrence (just found a lump (prayerfully a clogged milk duct or benign tumor), on Mother's Day -- May 13, 2012).

These three things are HUGE life changers. New base means a new location, new home, new friends. Tubal reversal would change the dynamic of our family's home life. Breast cancer would change many things about our life. Yet, all of these requires a great deal of patience. Waiting. Waiting. And more waiting.

Honestly, I am not the perfect person. Surprised, right? I say that with a lot of sarcasm. For some reason people always look at me as being so perfect. I promise you: I am NOT perfect. I promise. I struggle with waiting patiently, and many other things. For the sake of time (and waiting, well, reading, I will limit this to waiting patiently). Okay, so I start out well with waiting patiently. Then as time goes on, I falter so terribly. Towards the end, I pick up the pieces and remember:

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28 (esv).

And so I begin waiting patiently, again. Again. Again. Because this happens many times depending on the length of the waiting.

God has everything in the palm of His hand. He is perfect in every way; therefore, everything He does is for a reason, with a cause, and is perfect and good.

"This God—his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him" Psalm 18:30 (esv).

I am waiting for my mammogram that is to take place next week. I will have to wait for the results (hopefully less than 24 hours since I did schedule a follow-up for the following morning). We are waiting to see where things go with the projected tubal reversal. We are waiting for orders to a new base in hopes to prepare for my husband's retirement from the military.

This morning, actually, today has been rough. VERY ROUGH. I am not a fan of the unknown because I am a planner. I like to be prepared. I do not like waiting. Yet, God reminds me that:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths" Proverbs 3:5-6 (esv).

That means that in everything, including the waiting, to trust the LORD with ALL of my heart, because HE WILL make the path straight ... "for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" Philippians 2:13 (esv).

No matter what happens, God is in control. I believe this. It is my salvation, the work of the LORD in me, that chooses to keep hold of what is Good -- Jesus.

So are waiting for something? How are you doing while you are waiting? God is perfect in EVERYTHING that He does. Sometimes the pain may hurt for a little while (including years), but the eternal rewards is so grand if you hold fast to His unchanging hand! No matter what happens "I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare [peace] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11. Sometimes the waiting can take a while. Do not wait in grumbling and complaining -- it seriously does no good. Praise Jesus' Name -- it makes it so worth it to know that HE is at work for my good because I have been called according to His purpose! To keep all things in perspective: I am human; therefore, I will fall short. I will complain from time-to-time. I will cry and be whiny.

I am IMperfect serving a PERFECT GOD who has my best interest at heart.