Merry Christmas

Last night's Christmas jammies gift opening left me a little less happy that today would be another Christmas without my husband and the father to our kiddos with us. Deployments do that. They kind of like taking those you love away from the family during those special holidays.

What turned everything around?

The Christmas Eve service we went to at 11:30 p.m. It touched my heart and removed those negative contents and replaced it with WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT: the peace, love, and joy that comes from having a relationship with Jesus. Christmas came upon us "all of a sudden" -- I remember Thanksgiving was literally just here a few days ago, wasnt' it? With Christmas only hours away, I felt emotionally drained, just trying to keep it together, and all the while growing more impatient with waiting for William to come home, Christmas gifts to be opened and past us, and trying to maintain some sort of genuine smile across my face.

Christmas Eve service @ Canyon Ridge Christian Church 2011.
Photo taken by a dear friend over here. 

I finally went to bed around 4:30 a.m. and had to get back up before 9:00 a.m. because that's when William was going to call on video to open gifts with the kiddos. Just so you know, I function a WHOLE LOT better when I have had at least 6-7 hours, but function perfectly when I've had 8 hours of sleep.

Anyway, the kids and William really touched my heart this year. I am a very blessed mother of three amazing children and a very blessed wife to one amazing husband whom I could never imagine anyone more amazing than he!!

After the kids opened their gifts, it was my turn. William said I had to open the gifts from the kids first and his last. They got me a handsfree ear piece, caramel syrup for lattes, sewing storage box (but they said it's for crochet stuff), and a card. I could completely tell they really thought out ALL of their gifts to me, which was really touching.

What really pulled on my heart strings and made me cry happy tears was the card:

MOM: Hope you know how
much you mean to me...

Even though I may never find the right
words or the perfect ways to show it,
I hope somehow you still know what I
feel in my heart. You're loved and appreciated
more than I can say.
Merry Christmas

William got me Timeless: The Selah Collection. I absolutely love Selah and the music they sing. It's more of a worship (slower) style than a praise (more uptempo) style. The music is very calming and when I really started listening to them a couple months ago, calm is exactly what I needed!

Timeless: The Selah Collection. William's gift to me.

No gift is as special and as precious as the gift of Jesus Christ. Earthly treasures may bring a happiness for a short time, but the joy that Jesus gives lasts for all eternity. The treasures I received from the kiddos and William will be forever ingrained in my heart because of the season in life that I am in. 

But, the greatest gift that I will always treasure the most is salvation that has comes through knowing Jesus as my personal LORD and Savior.

"6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 7 Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this" Isaiah 9:6-7 (NIV).

"¹⁰ Whoever believes in the Son of God accepts this testimony. Whoever does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because they have not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. ¹¹ And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. ¹² Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life" 1 John 5:10-12 (NIV).

Mini Homecoming Preparation

Okay ... so I was thinking earlier, as I was talking with a dear friend, that we do some crazy things to get ready for the homecoming of our loved one. A LOT of crazy things. I get butterflies and the giggles really bad. But I can't help it. It's who I am. It's who God made me to be.

The other thing I was thinking about was the fact that when I have not seen my husband in a week (or even more), those butterflies and giggles come back. It is like a mini homecoming. Seriously. It gets so bad, that when I know he is back at his home base and/or the day is drawing near to when he could possibly be arriving at the home base, I cannot help but get ready. I do a workout, shower, and straighten my hair (either that night, or the following morning) and when I KNOW we will be on a video chat, I put a little makeup on, too. It plays out like a mini homecoming in my head, almost like a date.

I may not be able to wrap my arms around him or give him a kiss, but I still want to look my best when we see each other for the first time after a week being apart-apart. <--- if that makes sense.

Workout gets me fired up!

Part of the arsenal.

A shower makes me refreshed and hopefully makes me look not
so tired since good rest does not happen while he's out and about.
OH! And the cell phone is never far from me ... most of the time.

 Does any of you do anything that gets you ready to see your loved one on a video chat during a deployment? Look at it like a date. I am absolutely positive he WILL notice!

My husband does and  it makes my heart smile.

Passing the time

It's been a while since I have blogged; and believe it or not, I do have several writings started -- I just need to finish them. Maybe I should write a little at a time? For those that know me, I'm an all or nothing kind of gal. Writing here and there is a hard thing for me to do -- which means I could never be a real writer of some book. When I do something, 98% of the time (because from time to time I do get lazy), I really do give it my all!


Okay, so what do you do to pass the time? When you're waiting to be seen at a medical appointment, do you read, play games on your phone, or watch whatever the office may have on the television? What about you military spouses: what do you do to pass the time while you wait for your military spouse to come home and/or even just to talk to them on the phone or computer? Here are a few quirky things I do to pass the time (and in no particular order):

1. Every now and then I'll make note of how much of the countdown sticker chart we have gone through. This is what the kids use to countdown the time. For example: We had about a 5 foot section of our kitchen island wall covered in unmarked days. Now we are well pass the halfway point of the island! YAY!! :-) 

2. Sporadically check the countdown clock on the laptop. I TRY NOT TO check it every day, even though it is in plain sight, I do TRY NOT TO look at it every day. Then I can say, "WOW! 3 days has gone by already?!" Silly. I know.

3. I check the 10 day forecast. Even though most of the time I really am checking the weather forecast, I am secretly wow'ing at the fact that in 10 days, we're that much closer to the end of the month. For instance: Can you believe that in 10 days it will be 28 November 2011?! Where has the time gone?! OH! And FYI: the forecast in 10 days is 64 as a high and 41 as a low.

Sunny	Mostly Sunny	Sunny	Partly Cloudy	Mostly Cloudy	Mostly Cloudy	Mostly Sunny	Sunny	Sunny	Mostly Sunny
63°	62°	60°	64°	66°	59°	64°	64°	67°	64°
43°	42°	41°	43°	44°	41°	41°	44°	42°	41°

4. Each Thursday afternoon, except when a holiday falls on this day, Mariah has a horse lesson. Yes, even this once a week adventure helps me pass the time. I LOVE watching our girl ride her horse and learn new things. I also love that when Wednesday of the following week rolls around, somehow I always think to myself "WOW! It feels like we just had a lesson!"

5. Cleaning. Cleaning. And doing it all over again and cleaning some more. I know, how mundane, but to me cleaning is relaxing, helps pass the time, and it's also "quiet time".

These are just a few quirky things that I do to help pass the time. While I do still count each and every day as a blessing, and I look forward to the fun things and times and laughter the kids and I have together -- There is that part of me that lives in the future .... because that's when I can hug on my amazing man returning home from yet another deployment.

Heart.Breaking.Reality

I sat down in the family room tonight checking emails on the laptop and taking care of other things. While updating the NFL game scores and family points, I heard sniffles from our baby girl's bedroom. I quietly sat the laptop down and walked into her room, flipping the light on. Her little nose was so red and her pretty brown eyes were filled with tears.

I softly asked her "What's the matter?" and she replied through the hard sobs and big tears with "I miss daddy so much!" And broke out in a hard cry, again.

I walked over to her, sat down on her bed, and leaned over and gave her a hug. At the initial moment I couldn't say anything because I would have bawled my eyes out. You see, for me, it is so hard to go day-to-day without my best friend here with me, but God's grace is sufficient each day. What makes it extremely difficult is when you can see the pain and the hurt of your child's heart on their face.

So a couple moments pass and I wipe a tear away and say to her, "Would you like to take a couple pictures for daddy?" She agrees and says, "I really miss doing stuff as a family" -- her little chin quivering.

We took a few photos in black and white so you couldn't see our red noses or the redness around our eyes.

This is one of the photos she wanted to send daddy.

Before leaving her room, she said one more thing to me: "I just feel like this time is going by really slow and I don't like it. I want the time to go by faster so he can come home faster."

I completely understand how she feels. I feel like if September would just get over with, then the rest of the year would speed by. I mean, there are no holidays or anything "big" to look forward to in September. There's plenty of things in October, November, December, and then we have a month of "preparation" after that. September, two more weeks to go and you'll be history. At this point in our life, thank goodness!!

I gave her a kiss on her forehead and assured her "You know what? Daddy misses us, too. As much as you're thinking about him, he's thinking about you." She smiled. That smile made it feel like all was well, again.

About 20 minutes later she came out to the family room and says to me, "Mom. When you talk to me when I'm feeling sad, it always makes things better." I felt like God gave me a big hug at that moment to remind me that I'm doing things right. When you're use to being a two-parent family, and because of deployments it takes you to being both mom and dad, it's difficult to feel like you are doing a good job.

So, LORD, thank You for being here with us. We could not get through this without You. *smiling through the tears*